Lynn Hoyland M.A., LMFT - Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

Message from Lynn

Counseling & Therapy Services: Scottsdale, Phoenix, AZ

Secure online video and teletherapy available

Initial Telephone Consultation
Teen Counseling: Initial Parent Meeting
Teen Counseling: Individual Counseling with your Teen
Family Counseling
Couples and Marriage Counseling

Initial Telephone Consultation

I welcome a phone call from you! I am available for a free 10-minute consultation to discuss whether you can benefit from individual, teen, family or couple’s counseling.

During this call, I invite you to ask me questions about my counseling practice, and what prompted you to call. I will ask a few questions about what you or your child is struggling with, and what you are seeking help for.

Sometimes people are very clear about the questions they would like to ask me, and sometimes they are not. That’s really okay if you aren’t sure. Many people have never been in counseling, and do not know what to ask or expect.

It is common for people to ask questions pertaining to:

  • My experience and competence to work with your child, family, or couple issues
  • My therapy treatment approach
  • Scheduling and frequency of counseling sessions
  • Referrals to other resources in the community
  • Fees and therapy session length
Individual Teen Counseling: Initial Parent Meeting

No matter how worried you are about your child, I am confident we can find the right direction together! Your child can learn the tools and skills to be a stronger teen and find great success.

The first counseling session will be with you, the parents. This is for me to learn more about your teen, and why you are so concerned. Even if you are divorced, it is still important for me to meet with both parents, in my Phoenix counseling office, before scheduling an appointment with your child. This is to make sure I am a good fit for your teen’s needs. I can meet with you together or individually, whatever your preference is. Although it works best if I can see both parents together in this first counseling session, we can schedule the appointments separately, if it works better for you.

Prior to this first counseling session with me, you will complete some paperwork that explains a number of things, including:

  • the confidential nature of counseling
  • what a “therapeutic relationship” is
  • the different types of counseling approaches I use
  • information about my therapy practice

I also go over this paperwork with you in the first therapy session, just in case you have any questions.

Together in this initial therapy session, we will talk about:

  • the specific concerns you have for your teen
  • the goals you might have for him or her during the counseling process
  • current and past life experiences that may be relevant to your concerns
  • how I will inform you of your teen’s progress in counseling
  • if crisis intervention is needed
  • length, time, and frequency of counseling sessions
  • my treatment approach, which is a combination of Family Systems Theory and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy.

This first therapy meeting accomplishes several things. I begin to get a very clear idea about the concerns you have for your teen, what you have done to try and solve the problem as a parent, and what, in your opinion, has contributed to the problem.

This is a time for me to understand your child and family better, but it is also a time for you to determine if you feel comfortable with me.

As I will be interacting with both your teen and you during our therapy session, it is essential that you feel I am a good match for you and your teenager. The therapeutic relationship is the most important part of counseling. You must feel confident in my skills, my experience, and the counseling approach I use.

This assessment phase is designed to give me a clear idea of what the problems are. It is also the time to identify the different strength’s I know your teen has.

After all, I will be building on them!

Teen Counseling: Individual Counseling with your Teen

The first individual counseling session with your teen is really important for a couple of reasons. It’s usually a toss-up as to whether they will want to attend or not. It is very common for parents to be more motivated for their teen to attend, than the teen is! Usually, those resistant feelings subside once your teen attends the first therapy session and sees that counseling is not so “weird” or scary.

The most important part of counseling is the therapeutic relationship, so getting off to a good start is a priority!

Teen counselingEach session is an hour long. In the first counseling session with your teenager, I will review confidentiality and summarize the concerns you have voiced in the parent meeting. I prefer to meet with your teen for counseling weekly, for at least a month or two, sometimes longer. This is to establish a solid therapeutic relationship and begin working on the problems he or she is struggling with.

How long counseling lasts with your teen and the frequency of sessions is really a collaborative decision. This decision is usually based on a variety of different factors, including: severity of the problem, ongoing stressors that may exist, and motivation to change.

Sometimes kids like to keep the connection and continue coming intermittently to sustain the positive changes they have made. I am excited when that happens, because it tells me they value the work they’ve done and their efforts to grow.

Counseling sessions are so much more than just “talk therapy!

Although “talk therapy” is wonderful and is always a part of the session, I regularly introduce an exciting array of techniques and ideas that keep the counseling sessions stimulating, interesting and challenging. These techniques are based on Cognitive Behavioral Therapy principles, but I have just spiced them up a bit.

In this process of change and healing, your teen will begin the journey toward great success.

Individual counseling will help your teen to:

  • manage his or her feelings more effectively
  • make positive choices
  • be accountable
  • become more self confident
  • eliminate self-sabotaging and “acting out” behavior, e.g. belligerence, manipulation, skipping school, etc.
  • use good judgment at home, school, and with friends
  • recognize and manage “invisible peer pressure”
  • establish credibility with you, and build a “trust account
  • prioritize and balance life responsibilities
Family Counseling

Has your family life become chaotic?

As a counselor that works with families, I have the expertise to help you get your family back on track.

Family counseling can help if:

  • your family has encountered a recent crisis, trauma, or difficult event, such as divorce or death of a loved one
  • you or your child has been diagnosed with an anxiety disorder, depression, bipolar disorder, autism, or ADD/ADHD, and you are not sure which direction to go, or how to help your child
  • you frequently feel manipulated by your teen
  • your teen is using drugs or alcohol
  • you disagree with the other parent on how to set limits, or handle problems with your kids
  • there seems to be more arguing than love in your family
  • your teenager defies your rules

How many times have you asked your teenager to do something, only to be met with “just a second!” or, “I’ll do it later” or, better yet, “hold on, geez!” Or, even worse, a flat out “no, I am not doing that!”

At what point does your child comply with what you’ve asked them to do? Is it after the first request, the third, the fifth, or maybe not at all?

If you have experienced a family crisis, everyone may be under a lot of stress. There may be feelings of sadness, desperation, fear, and confusion. Tempers may flare, feelings are hurt easily, and some family members may withdraw or isolate. It may feel like your entire family is off balance.

Family counseling restores balanceFamily counseling restores balance. You will learn the skills to talk to each other in respectful and honest ways. As parents, you will learn powerful and effective ways to set limits with your teen. Your teen will learn to establish trust and credibility with you.

You will begin to laugh and love more!

In family counseling, you will also learn to:

  • set appropriate limits and consequences with your teenager
  • stay neutral when interacting with your teen, even when you are upset
  • avoid power struggles
  • take a “firm, but kind” parenting approach
  • establish clear rules and guidelines for your teen
  • listen to one another without interrupting
  • honor one another
  • have more fun as a family

Family therapy sessions are usually 1 to 1½ hours in length. In the first few sessions, we will establish goals for your family, and a course of therapy, including frequency and duration of sessions. I use a combination of counseling approaches including Family Systems Theory and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy.

As we work together in this process, you will develop the skills necessary to meet the goals you have set as a family.

Couples and Marriage Counseling

Is your relationship causing you to lose sleep at night?

As a couple’s counselor, I have the expertise to help you create the relationship you have always wanted!

Couples or marriage counseling can help if you are experiencing any of these problems in your relationship:

  • loss of trust
  • poor communication
  • power struggles
  • frequent arguing
  • ignoring each other
  • threatening to leave the relationship
  • infidelity
  • needs not being met
  • in-law difficulties
  • parenting issues
  • alcohol or drug abuse

It’s very common for couples to experience challenges in their relationship. It’s almost a “given”, when you have two people who are entirely different, spending lots of time with each other. Sometimes, however, these challenges become overwhelming, and very difficult to resolve.

Perhaps you are discovering significant “compatibility” and/or “value” differences that didn’t seem to be there in the beginning. These differences may be causing friction between you and your partner. It’s easy to say “forget it”, and move on. But moving on generally means you just bring the same issues with you to the next relationship.

Isn’t it time to stay put and work it through?

In couples or marriage counseling, you will learn the skills to resolve the challenges in your relationship. You will gain insight and develop a higher degree of compatibility and respect for one another.

In the initial assessment phase of couples counseling, you and your partner will identify goals for your relationship and yourselves. Couple or marriage counseling sessions are typically 1½ to 2 hours in length. The frequency and duration of couples counseling sessions is a collaborative decision, based on the severity of the problems you are experiencing and your willingness to work toward your goals.

If you think you, your teen, or your family could benefit from individual, couples or family counseling, please contact me at: 602-953-5542.

I look forward to hearing from you!

Lynn Hoyland, M.A., M.F.T.

Lynn Hoyland, M.A., LMFT
Phone: 602-953-5542
P.O. Box 71143
Phoenix, AZ 85050

Lynn Hoyland is a therapist and counselor who provides counseling services to parents, teens, and couples in Phoenix and Scottsdale, AZ.

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