Lynn Hoyland M.A., LMFT - Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

Message from Lynn

911: Is Your Teen In Trouble?

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Counseling for your teen or family may help…

It can be incredibly tough, being the parent of a teen. Maybe even tougher being the teen.

Most teens here in Phoenix and Scottsdale, AZ are trying to balance many different things at once, such as school, friendships, temptations, peer pressure, sports, and following the rules at home. Those life responsibilities can sometimes be really overwhelming. Maybe you are beginning to see changes in your teen's behavior and attitude as the pressure builds.

Do you sometimes wonder if your child can even make it through these difficult years, and emerge well adjusted?

Perhaps you’ve tried over and over to talk to your teen about your concerns, but he or she still shuts you out. It’s likely you’ve heard, “I’ll talk to my friends about my problems…I don’t need to talk to you!”

Here are a few behaviors that might indicate your teenager is in trouble:

  • Your teenager may be in troubleisolating in his or her room
  • worrying or crying more often
  • having trouble with friendships
  • abusing drugs or alcohol
  • acting out aggressively
  • becoming more irritable and defiant
  • not eating or overeating
  • making negative statements such as: “I hate myself”
  • not wanting to go to school
  • being secretive or lying to you
  • stealing
  • chronic procrastination or resistance around schoolwork
  • grades dropping
  • difficulty concentrating or following through with things

If your teen is displaying any of these behaviors, counseling may be the answer.

As we all know, adolescence is one of the most difficult times of our lives. To make matters more challenging, your family may be facing other painful events, such as divorce, death, addiction, financial hardship… the list goes on.

Not to mention cell phones and computers and the challenges they can bring. Does it seem like your teen can’t stop texting? Or looking at his or her phone, even when you are in conversation?

How many times have you asked your teen to do something, only to hear, “in a second!”, or “what?” Technology seems to be breeding an “instant gratification” mentality, which makes it hard for your teenager to set limits for themselves, find that balance, or get important things done.

Although technology has many benefits, more and more kids are also finding themselves a target for bullying over text messages, and on social networking sites such as Facebook and My Space.

Perhaps your teen has been bullied. If so, you know how incredibly destructive that can be. Your teen’s esteem and confidence has taken a huge blow. It’s hard to recover after something like that.

Oftentimes, whatever your teen is going through IS a “phase”, and they get through it just fine…

But sometimes, the problems with your teen just don’t go away, or they get worse.

As a parent, you’re supposed to have the answers, right?

But, no one taught you how to parent a child who starts having difficult problems. So first off, it’s important to recognize that and give yourself a break. Parenting a challenging teen can take a lot of time, energy, and skills. Perhaps you are feeling so stressed with your teen that you are starting to notice that it is affecting other areas of your life--your relationship with your partner, friendships, and work. When you’re upset with your child, that can certainly affect your other relationships.

You may feel scared and helpless.

Individual teen counselingYour teen may be suffering from anxiety, depression, low esteem, or substance abuse problem. As you watch your child struggle, you feel increasingly powerless to control any of it. I bet if this is happening, you likely worry every day. Nothing you do or say seems to be making a difference.

You are not alone.

I bet you have talked to other parents, and found they struggle with their teenagers as well. You may have even said “I know I’m not alone…other parents are going through this too!” Sometimes, that is little consolation when your child is the one who is suffering.

As overwhelming as it seems, there are solutions! It is possible to balance it all. It is possible for your teen to walk through these hard times successfully. It is possible for your adolescent to become more confident, flexible, and optimistic.

Counseling can help.

As a counselor, my passion is working with teenagers and their parents. I have over 27 years working with children, teens, and families and have helped hundreds of kids overcome these kinds of problems. I have seen them make some amazing changes, and their wisdom and resilience oftentimes stuns me. I have also learned some very valuable lessons from teens and families along the way.

Facing Challenges Doesn’t Have To Be Boring!

I absolutely believe that your child should have some fun in the process of working through difficult challenges. He or she has been struggling for too long. Hope is the key ingredient to get started.

I offer a creative and unique way to work with your teen in counseling. By using a healthy dose of humor, coupled with an exciting blend of different counseling approaches I will begin the process of esteem building, change and healing.

I love to use metaphors for skill building and change such as “snail making” activities , stories and parables, eraser board exercises, “mission statements”, positive “mantra’s”, and goal setting.

In working with me in counseling, your teen will learn the skills to:

  • Use good judgment
  • Resist peer pressure and make friends with positive peers
  • Tell the truth and be accountable
  • Make good decisions
  • Manage his/her worry effectively
  • Balance life responsibilities, i.e. put the cell phone or video game down, find a hobby, spend time with family and friends, or complete homework without arguing
  • Identify and change negative thinking patterns
  • Identify and change self defeating behavior
  • Become happier and more respectful

If you find yourself struggling, as the parent of a teenager, you have come to the right place!

As a counselor who works with teenagers and parents of teens, I have the expertise to help you overcome these challenges…

Most likely you feel overwhelmed, trying to sort it all out. Through parent counseling, we can get your life with your teen back on track.

I will work with you and your teen in counseling, individually or through family therapy, or in couples or marriage counseling, to find solutions to the challenges you are facing.

Parent or family and couples counseling sessions are designed to give you powerful parenting strategies and techniques. I can work with you to help restore balance to your life.

If you are ready to strengthen your relationship with teen and feel more in control, counseling may be your answer.

Call today to see if how you and your teen might benefit from counseling with me.

I am committed to great results!

I look forward to hearing from you.

Lynn Hoyland, M.A., LMFT

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Lynn Hoyland, M.A., LMFT
Phone: 602-953-5542
Fax: 602-953-5541
Email: lynn@lynnhoyland.com
11811 North Tatum Blvd., Suite 4040
Phoenix, AZ 85028

Lynn Hoyland offers teen counseling, couples and marriage therapy, and family therapy to parents and their teens in Phoenix and Scottsdale, AZ.

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When you focus on the problem, the problem gets bigger.

When you focus on the solution, the solution gets bigger!